Digenis.org

Seeing as I spend about a tenth of my day 100 meters below the surface of Moscow packed like a sardine into subway trains (and sometimes they actually do smell like a can of sardines) along with thousands of Russians, I figure I might as well devote an entry to it.

I know that many of you who read along here are from small enough cities that you haven?t yet experienced the joy of subway transportation. Not that you?re missing out on anything, but this post is especially for you.

Because I live pretty far from my university, I have to commute during the busiest times of the day. Before I started this fall semester, I thought I knew the ropes of the Moscow metro. I was wrong. Riding during the afternoon and late evening is quite different from the morning, when everyone and their babushka are pushing their way onto the inbound train. The Moscow metro will either cure or kill someone from their claustrophobia.

While in motion, most passengers read, listen to a walkman, or touch other people. During the night hours, the metro becomes the ?make out? spot for young Russians, although the city is considering prohibiting it.

I enjoy checking out the advertisements plastered on the train walls. Due to the upcoming December 7 DUMA elections, they have become even more amusing. For example, I managed to snap a picture of this today:

The text reads:
Citizens, do not go out to vote!
The Russian elections are an audacious organized crime of the Powers against the people. Choosing between parties is like choosing between crap and shit.

It was put up by the National Bolshevik party (notice the hammer and sickle on the man?s arm). I read yesterday that the expected voter turn-out is around 59% of the population. How about that? That’s pretty good compared to the US.

Another ad that made me laugh was one from Jackpot Casinos. They have a system called Jackpay where you can pay your mobile phone bill with your casino winnings:

When you exit the train, you?ll make your way to the escalator by joining a large herd of people that, as far as I can tell, seems to be the Russian equivalent of what the Western World calls a ?line? or a ?queue?. At the bottom of the escalators usually hang metro advertisements like this one:

There?s an even cooler one where the metro attendant is blowing a kiss and wishing you a safe journey, but I haven?t seen it for a long time (if I were still in my sign-stealing days, I would have one on my wall right now). But don?t be fooled by the propaganda, folks, unfortunately the metro attendants tend to be old babushkas and dyedushkas rather than young ladies.

Finally, when you?re back above ground, you?ll encounter one more obstacle before you are free to risk your life on the sidewalks with falling icicles and the streets with psycho drivers. Just outside the metro await people in bright vests handing out flyers, brochures, announcements, and so on. Slowly they?ve been making their way closer and closer to the metro entrance. It?s gotten pretty crazy if you ask me. For example, take a look at this picture from yesterday evening:

What a blast.

[Warning: The strong sarcasm in this post is the result of a frustrating daily commute and should not be understood as me looking down on Russians or their culture.]